The Rubaiyat of Bridge

by

CAROLYN WELLS

All rights reserved.

Published April, 1909.

Printed in the United States of America.

[Pg 5]

Now the new Rubber rousing new Desires,
The Thoughtful Soul to Doubling Hearts aspires.
=When the Red Hand of Dummy is laid down,
And even Hope of the Odd Trick expires!

[Pg 6]

[Pg 7]

Ah, make the Most of what We yet may Take,
Before we lose the Lead, and let Them make
=Trick after Trick! While we throw down High Cards,
Sans Lead, sans Score, sans Honor, and sans Stake!

[Pg 8]

[Pg 9]

A Book of Bridge Rules underneath the Bough,
A Score Card, Two new Packs of Cards, and Thou
=With Two Good Players sitting opposite,
Oh, Wilderness were Paradise enow!

[Pg 10]

[Pg 11]

The Card no Question makes of ayes or noes,
But High or Low, as suits the Player shows;
=But he who Stands Beside you, Looking On,--
He knows about it all! He Knows!! He Knows!!!

[Pg 12]

[Pg 13]

I sometimes think there's never such Tirade
As where some Bridge Game has been badly Played.
=When Some One thinks you should have made no Trump,
And you have thriftily declared a Spade!

[Pg 14]

[Pg 15]

Myself, when Young, did eagerly Frequent
Bridge Tournaments, and heard Great Argument
=About this Point and That. Yet, after all,
Came out no Better Player than I went.

[Pg 16]

[Pg 17]

For I remember stopping by the Way
To watch Four Celebrated Champions play.
=They Differed on the Discard, Make, and Lead.
Whatever One Said,--Said The Others, "Nay!"

[Pg 18]

[Pg 19]

Why, if a Soul can fling the Rules aside,
And let his Card=Sense be his Only Guide,
=Were't not a Shame, were't not a Shame for him
By Street and Elwell tamely to abide?

[Pg 20]

[Pg 21]

And if the Card you hopefully Finesse
Capture the Trick,--your Partner Smiles! Oh yes!
=And you smile Broadly! But, if it be Caught
By the Fourth Hand,--your Smiles are somewhat Less!

[Pg 22]

[Pg 23]

But if in Vain down on the Stubborn Score
You gaze; and make it No Trumps, just once more,--
=With Strength in Every Suit, but with No Ace,--
How then,--when Dummy calmly Lays down Four!

[Pg 24]

[Pg 25]

To Them the Heart Convention did I show,
And with Mine Own Hand tried to make it go.
=But this is all the Wisdom that I reaped,--
"With more than Three Hearts, always lead the Low!"

[Pg 26]

[Pg 27]

For, Trump or No=Trump, though with all the Rules,
Of different Masters and of different Schools,
=I've played with Players of all Sorts,--but I
Have never beaten anything,--but Fools!

[Pg 28]

[Pg 29]

Indeed, indeed--to Quit It oft Before
I swore,--but did I mean it when I swore?
=And then,--and then came Three, and, Cards in Hand,
I Joined them, and they made me keep the Score!

[Pg 30]

[Pg 31]

Alas, how Subtle Bridge alluring Woos!
And robs me of my Nightly Beauty=Snooze.
=I often Wonder what Bridge Players gain
One=half so Precious as the Sleep they Lose.

[Pg 32]

[Pg 33]

Oh, Threats of Loss, and Hopes of Golden Store,
One thing in Bridge is Certain,--'tis not Lore!
=One thing is Certain, and the Rest is Chance:
The Hand that holds the Cards will win the Score!

[Pg 34]

[Pg 35]

Some for the Gain of Penny Points, and Some
Sigh for the Lovely Prizes yet to come.
=Oh, take the Prize and let the Pennies go,
Nor heed the winning of a Paltry Sum.

[Pg 36]

[Pg 37]

When You and I our Last Bridge Game have played,
The Games will go right on by Those who've Stayed,
=Who of Our Coming and Departure heed
As the Heart Ace should heed a little Spade.

[Pg 38]

[Pg 39]

We are no other than a Moving Row
Of Magic Dummy Hands that Come and Go.
=Played to the Last Trump by the Hand of Fate,
By whom our Hearts are Shuffled To and Fro.

[Pg 40]

[Pg 41]

The End.